Best of your sex life begins at 40!

Far from resulting in loss of libido, reaching 40 could actually make your sex life more adventurous, says a study.
The findings are based on a survey of 2,400 Canadians, between ages 40 to 59, about their their sexual health , happiness and pleasure, in addition to their sexual behaviour and attitudes.
"There is a public perception that as we age, sex becomes less important, less enjoyable and less frequent," said Robin Milhausen, sexuality and relationship researcher at the University of Guelph in Canada.
"The study findings indicate that most midlife Canadians are indeed leading satisfying and active sexual lives," Milhausen said in press release.
The study was conducted by leading condom company Trojan in partnership with Sex Information and Education Council of Canada (SIECCAN).
The researchers found that sexual pleasure does not decrease with age.
Regardless of age category, 65 percent of the respondents said their last sexual encounter was very pleasurable.
The overwhelming majority of the respondents said that their current primary relationship is emotionally satisfying . The research also revealed that as they got older, the respondents were more likely to be adventurous.
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More than half of those surveyed (63 percent) said they are more interested in trying new things to enhance pleasure than they were a decade ago.
Lubricant use for intercourse increased with age with 22 percent of men and 26 percent of women aged 55 to 59 using lube at last sexual intercourse.
Top Comment

Modi govt will put an end to such talk in India. It will be back to good old Gurukula days when only sages and munis were allowed such luxury.

Vibrator use was common, with 40 percent of women reporting that they used a vibrator the last time they masturbated.
"Sexual and relationship satisfaction were highly interrelated - and the most emotionally satisfied in their relationships reported the highest level of pleasure," Milhausen said.
"And married people are reporting sex as pleasurable as their single counterparts, in fact, married men reported more pleasure at last sexual encounter than single men," Milhausen noted.

Why it's important for women to enjoy sex

When it comes to good sex, women often play martyrs, at the expense of being deprived of the many physical benefits that come with it. Casual or not, sex plays a crucial role in our lives.
Women, especially, kid themselves that good sex is not important for a thriving relationship. For them, it's more about staying connected to their partner. "I was in a relationship where my partner got aroused easily. Since I was taking too long to get into the mood, I started having sex for the sake of it; each time feeling empty and incomplete," remembers 24-year-old writer Rachna Singh.
Emphasising the importance of foreplay, Aditi Acharya, consultant psychiatrist, Healthenablr India, says, "While 90 per cent of males experience an orgasm during intercourse, as many as 30 per cent of women have never experienced an orgasm in their lifetime. One reason for that is, the latter is not directly related to reproduction. Moreover, a woman takes a while to empty her mind and enter into the game. This could take anything between 15 to 40 minutes."
BLISSFUL ESCAPE
Foot spa rituals and body massages are rejuvenating, but you cannot possibly engage in one every day, can you? In The Orgasms Answer Guide, sexologist Beverly Whipple cites a study done by psychologist Carol Rinkleib Ellison in 2000, in which Ellison interviewed 2,632 women between the ages of 23 and 90 and found that 39 percent of these women stimulated themselves in order to relax. Experts give credit to oxytocin. "When a woman hits the high spot, a feel-good hormone called oxytocin is released from the nerve cells in the hypothalamus into the blood stream. Oxytocin not only relieves stress, but also stimulates feelings of warmth and relaxation. It facilitates social bonding and strengthens relationships, "points out psychiatrist and sexologist Dr Shyam Mithiya.
B FOR BENEFIT
The big 'O' comes with a myriad of physical benefits too. It improves blood circulation to the organs in the pelvic cavity, speeds up the body's natural detoxification process, increases fertility, improves memory, boosts infection fighting cells, promotes healthy oestrogen levels and protects against osteoporosis, heart disease and breast cancer. "However bad the day may have been, my husband and I ensure that the night ends well with good wine and intercourse. This act certainly beats popping an Asprin! Also, who needs makeup when you wake up with a natural post-coital afterglow?" quips 36-year-old language consultant Mugdha*. It is the best way to beat those Monday blues as it induces a sense of positivity. Endorphins, released during the process are natural pain relievers that alleviate headache, menstrual cramps as well as arthritis.
Remember the time when you made out with your crush at the bar and later flaunted an obvious glow? That's thanks to the hormone DHEA (Dehyrdoepiandrosterone). An increase in DHEA released during the act restores skin, repairs damaged tissues and keeps it looking radiant. It also strengthens the bones and muscles. There have been ample studies to show that people who had intercourse at least three times a week looked 10 years younger.
ON YOUR OWN
So what if your couch potato boyfriend fails to arouse you or your long-distance lover is not a phone sex per son or you're just single? "Seducing yourself doesn't mean scattering rose petals all over your bed. It could be anything low-maintenance to get you in the mood. Think aroma therapy candles and the like. Dim the lights, shut your eyes and let your imagination run wild," shares sex coach Anindita Sen.
CROSSING THE FINISH LINE
Films portray women as being in a constant state of sexual ecstasy. But in reality, only 20 per cent of women orgasm through penetrative sex. "The rest 80 percent women need other methods like clitoris stimulation, oral sex and vaginal stimulation. Multiple orgasms are quite rare and they can be reached only if the partner is extremely skilled," says Dr Mithiya. So can the absence of a good sex life affect your relationship? "Of course, you are entitled to your off days, but if you're in a relationship, it's important to communicate with your partner. If you're not too comfortable being direct it's best to tell him what works and what doesn't with vocal cues," says fitness trainer Shivani Joshi.

Want steamier sex? Try sex fasting

No matter how great your relationship, the pleasure quotient will always depend on the action between the sheets. If you catch yourself wondering whether you need to catapult your carnal life, maybe it's time to give sex a break. Sounds bizarre? Well, therapists believe that the greatest trick to improve your sex life is to give it up — at least for a while.
Couples today face a gamut of issues in their sexual relationship: boredom, common sex problems, mismatched libidos and infidelity. Experts feel that addressing the basic incompatibility issue and abstaining from sex may help get the spark back. City-based sexologist, Dr Rajiv Anand, explains, "In India, we fast during festivals and avoid sexual indulgence. Couples also stay away from sex for a while after the woman delivers a child. There is a scientific reason to abstain from sex.
If you have sex after a prolonged period of time, it ignites the dormant passion and helps couples explore each other's bodies with renewed vigour." Dr Anand further explains that there is an inherent difference in how men and women feel about sex. "The difference in timing and rhythm of sexual desire, its onset and progression leaves either of the partners dissatisfied. So, quite often, it becomes a mechanical act and a far cry from complete satisfaction and fulfilment," he elaborates. According to him, the therapy of abstinence helps satisfy both the individuals.
What is sex fasting?
It works on the theory that rather than doing it out of compulsion, couples should abstain from sex. Experts believe this will result in a healthier mind, body and rejuvenated sex life. However, Dr Amrapali Patil, physician and relationship counsellor is of the opinion that this therapy can only be worthwhile if both the partners are on the same page and both of them mutually want to work on their relationship. "Sex is a natural need of the body. If one partner is not game he/she might end up trying to satisfy through other means. If that happens, it will defeat the purpose of this therapy," she says. Dr Patil re-emphasises the need to have basic understanding amongst the couple to play this game of building up the sexual attraction.

Women fake sexual pleasure to end 'bad' sex

When talking about troubling sexual encounters some women mention faking sexual pleasure to speed up their male partner's orgasm and ultimately end sex that they do not enjoy.
For the study, the researchers interviewed a small group of women (aged 19 -28) who had been sexually active for at least one year.
"While some women spoke about faking orgasm in positive ways, for instance, as a pleasurable experience that heightened their own arousal, many talked about feigning pleasure in the context of unwanted and unpleasurable sexual experiences," said one of the researchers Emily Thomas from Ryerson University in Toronto, Canada.
"Within these accounts, we were struck by the degree to which women were connecting the practice of faking orgasm to accounts of unwanted sex," she noted.
Despite being recruited to talk about consensual sex, all women spoke explicitly of a problematic sexual experience.
Interviews were analysed to explore how these women negotiate and account for experiences of problem sex in the context of exaggerating sexual pleasure and faking orgasm.
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Analysis showed that the women never used terms such as rape and coercion to refer to their own experiences - despite their descriptions of events that could be categorised as such.
Instead, women described their experiences of unwanted sex in indirect ways. For example, women used the term 'bad' to describe sex that was both unwanted and unpleasurable.
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Yeah! Faking orgasssmm in the heat of moment is far better than filing false raaape cases in courts later when they decide that it was bad and therefore they should withdraw consent after the event.
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The women spoke of faking orgasm as a means to ending these troubling sexual encounters.
In other words, faking orgasm provided a solution for ending sex where, culturally, not many options are available.
The findings were presented at the British Psychological Society's Psychology of Women annual conference in Windsor, Berkshire, Britain.

How to have better sex on weekdays

It's a cliche that weekends are raunchier. With a little extra homework, you can spice up your weekdays as well. With long commutes and hectic work hours no one can blame a couple for having a somewhat less than satisfying love life during the week, as opposed to the weekend when couples have more face-time with one another.
However, all relationships need that extra boost to work. Besides, it is a fact already established that chemistry is something that couples need to work on 24/7. Complacence has destroyed many a charmed union. So we strongly recommend that if your sex life has been facing a bit of an ebb during the week, with the odd raunchy weekend to make up for it, you should see it as a sign that the only way is up.
Here is our themed guide on how to spice up your chemistry during the week. And a gentle disclaimer: nothing is etched in stone; if a theme works for you on a certain day, feel free to swap them.
MONDAY
Dirty Picture
There is no better way to settle into the long week ahead other than watching a steamy flick after coming back home. And while at it, why not download or rent a film to charge up the atmosphere? If porn's not your significant other's thing, an erotic thriller or art-house erotica such as 9 Songs or Lust, Caution might just do the magic. A piece of advice: the film is not a manual for what you need to do. It's merely a catalyst for action. So if you watch 50 Shades of Grey, it doesn't mean that you have to tie each other up after watching the film.
TUESDAY
Food and Wine
Ok, so it's not even mid-week yet, but adding a dash of romance could well set the tone for a sequel to your naughty Monday. And nothing works better than a bottle of wine. Between the two of you, it would suffice to get you both toasted. Choose a light Chardonnay given the weather; complement it with lots of water to avoid dehydration. It is not recommended that you (or your significant other) cooks. Remember the idea is to light up your evening with something romantic. So you don't want to be overburdened. Instead, why not surprise your lover by ordering in his/her favorite dish from her favourite restaurant? Avoid Murg Afghani or chicken tikka and the like. Stick to light, crunchy, finger-friendly food. Better still, opt for dishes that can be shared so that you both can have that crucial bonding moment.
WEDNESDAY
Workout Together
If you've conquered the hump of the week (no pun intended) and have made it to mid-week, it's time for a stamina booster. Plan a jog or a brisk walk with your partner after working hours and reaching home.Remember, exercise stimulates the sex drive. If you can arrange for a trial of one of the many experimental regimens that are being touted as the next best thing, better still. Also, working out together promotes bonding; something that can be put to better use later, in bed. At the same time, remember that you both need to have some energy to have sex. So make sure you're not getting yourself too exhausted.
THURSDAY
One-night Staycation
Plan in advance and book a hotel room for Tantric Thursday. Treat your significant other to a surprise by checking into a boutique hotel that is comfortable and romantic and most importantly, close to his/her workplace. Remember, you both have to go to work the next day.But in the meanwhile, take advantage of the room service, the ergonomically-designed five-star beds, the champagne, the silky bathrobes, the chemistry. One small note: preorder a room-delivered breakfast the next day to keep that cosy vibe going.
FRIDAY
Go Out Dancing

Foods that raise sex hormones

• Food that makes your eyes dilate and fall in love, the one that raises sex hormones, gets you in the mood or preps you for romantic cues.
• Chillies: You thought it is its red colour that ignites passion.
• Avocado: Avocado’s aphrodisiac reputation originated thousands of years ago and it is here for good.
Food lust (oops!) list...Food lust (oops!) list...
"I will marry you if you promise not to make me eat eggplant."
Marquez sure wasn't talking of the kitchen table. The Nobel Laureate knew that food can kick in love. Not through the cliched 'the way to a man's heart is through the stomach'. Food that makes your eyes dilate and fall in love, the one that raises sex hormones, gets you in the mood or preps you for romantic cues. This Valentine's Day, try these 10 things.
Keep the lust kicking
Chocolate: How do you like it? Dark, white, milky or bitter? For eons, chocolate has been a happiness-bringer. You are sad, eat chocolate. You are happy, eat more chocolate. The darker the better. Dark chocolate causes a spike in dopamine, which induces feelings of pleasure. In his memoir, Casanova talks of drinking cups of chocolate to keep the lust kicking.
Sweat it up, baby
Chillies: You thought it is its red colour that ignites passion. Not just that. Peep into the science of chilli peppers. The spice stimulates endorphins (feel-good chemicals in the brain), speeds up heart rates and gets you sweating. That's mimicking the feeling of being aroused.
Oh 'Shuck'!
Oysters: Call it the most notorious of aphrodisiacs. Loaded with high-energising zinc, oysters are great for romance. Recent studies have puffed the pride of oyster - researchers have found that oysters contain amino acid which boosts sex hormones. Get shucking, everyone.
Youthful vigour
Avocado: Avocado's aphrodisiac reputation originated thousands of years ago and it is here for good. Even the Aztecs lusted after avocado. Its pear shape is sensual; its green flesh contains high levels of Vitamin E that maintains youthful vigour and energy levels. .
Berry, berry happy
Bananas: Its phallic-shape has been every school student's first sexual innuendo. Banana is the happiest fruit (it is actually a berry) and contains bromelain, an enzyme that triggers testosterone production; its potassium and Vitamin B elevate energy levels. I ain't saying this. Dr Oz says so.T
Horny love!
Artichoke: Artichoke is Greek god Zeus' object of affection - a woman spurned Zeus and he turned her into a thorny thistle. Catherine de Medici, the libidinous wife of Henry II, brought artichokes to France. Swedish women are said to have fed their husbands artichokes for better bed action. Egyptians believed artichoke enhanced sexual power and aided in conception. All this has a reason - artichokes are full of nutrition and antioxidants.
Seeds of sin
Fig: That's Adam and Eve's modesty leaf. After they had sinned, that is. Filled with antioxidants, flavonoids, fibre and potassium, fig seeds represent fertility and sensuality. Cleopatra upped fig's pride - it was her favourite fruit. A symbol of love in almost all cultures, the arrival of a new fig crop elicited a copulatory ritual in ancient Greece.
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It's all about the honey
Honey: After all, the word 'honeymoon' comes from honey. Made through pollination and a symbol of procreation, honey has boron, which helps regulate oestrogen and testosterone levels and provides a natural energy boost. Even Hippocrates prescribed honey for sexual vigour.
Symbol of venus

Strawberry: Once known as the symbol of Venus, goddess of love, the heart-shaped strawberry has magical antioxidants and phytochemicals. This Valentine's Day, if you find a double strawberry, halve it and share it with the one you love. It will ensure true, eternal love - an old wives' tale says so.
A whiff of love

Are sex robots our future?

What if you head to a brothel and instead of being met by a young woman, you are seen by an entirely different host: a robot?
Experts say that sex machines are just around the corner that could turn a crime-ridden industry into a respectable "guilt-free" business in Amsterdam's red light districts, reports the Mirror. According to a bizarre study, red-light districts will be transformed by 2050 with the introduction of the robotic sex workers.
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Futurologist Ian Yeoman and sexologist Michelle Mars at the University of Wellington imagined what an Amsterdam brothel will be like in the year 2050. They based it on Yub-Yum, which closed in 2008 but was once considered one of Amsterdam's most exclusive brothels.
As per the paper, Yub-Yum will be modern and gleaming with about 100 scantily clad blondes and brunettes parading around in exotic G-strings and lingerie. Entry will cost 10,000 dollars for an all inclusive service. It noted that the club, which will offer a full range of sexual services from massages, lap dancing and intercourse in plush surroundings, will be a unique bordello licensed by the city council, staffed not by humans but by androids.
Yeoman and Mars go on to describe how the futuristic brothel will come about because of a spoke in human trafficking in the sex industry in the 2040s. They also predict a growing problem with STIs, particularly HIV , which they say will mutate and become resistant to vaccines.
The pair claim Yub-Yum will feature robots of all ethnicities, body shapes, ages, languages and sexual features. But the most popular, they say, is tall, blonde, Russian android 'Irina,' who is a particular favourite of Middle Eastern businessmen. As per the paper, all androids will be made of bacteria resistant fiber and flushed for human fluids, guaranteeing no Sexual Transmitted Diseases transmission between consumers.
However, according to Yeoman and Mars, while the club will help the sex industry alleviate all health and human trafficking problems, human sex workers will be put out of business, unable to compete on price and quality of service. The work appears in Futures, an academic journal.

10 THINGS NOT TO SAY AFTER SEX

There are few things you should avoid saying to your partner after making love, if you don’t want your relationship to end up in disaster.

There’s enough sex in DH Lawrence’s scandalous masterwork Lady Chatterley’s Lover, but one can also find 10 things said after sex that you really wouldn’t want to say today, according to the Huffington Post.


Some are said by men, some are said by women, but both sexes should avoid pretty much all of them.

The 10 things in the order in which they appear in the book, according to the paper, are as follows:

Don’t complain about the timing of someone’s orgasm (or how they got there).

Never to talk about the woman’s orgasm right after she’s had it, much less criticise how she gets herself there. Even if you want to praise her (or yourself ) for the success you just had, better keep still. Let it happen; don’t shine light on it lest it disappear.

Never ask if your lover regrets the sex you just had.

Asking if someone regrets the recently concluded festivities might sound nice on paper, but if the person is feeling sorry or uncomfortable after sex, she probably doesn’t want to talk about it.

Discussing your socioeconomic differences isn’t sexy — or practical.

The more you mention the money discrepancy, the more power you give him to hold it against you.

Do not allude, however vaguely, to your past lovers or experience.

No matter what observation you want to make about sex, keep everyone else out of it — no referring to your experience or your knowledge in general. Save such observations for less vulnerable moments.

Do not mention love to your no-strings-attached love.

If you think you’re never going to fall in love with him, guess what: That’s probably exactly what he’d prefer. No need to feel guilty or to say anything at all.

Post-coitus, don’t ever ask if he or she loves you. This one is probably the worst all around; if you find it coming to your lips, you’d better keep quiet and start looking for real signs of love, not just hollow, forced assurances.

Never, under any circumstances, use the “c” word. Though Lady Chatterley’s Lover was written in the 1920s, the c-word already had a dodgy reputation (despite a variant of it being used in the Middle Ages by Chaucer). These days, that would be an utter disaster to say, but even then it wasn’t great.

Tread with caution when talking about his penis. "Tiny,” for the record, is never a word a guy wants to hear about his John Thomas.

Do not raise the issue of cohabitation out of the blue. While this might be a lovely sentiment to say in a real love relationship that had developed adequately, it’s not the kind of idea you want to raise for the first time post-flagrante. And doing it with someone who isn’t ready for cohabitation can only lead to disaster.

Watch what you say about your lover’s body. Men, if you’re complimenting a woman’s ass (or pretty much anything else), make sure you don’t call her womanly, don’t comment on its size, and don’t under any circumstances contrast her — even favourably — to skinny girls.

You might be trying to say that she looks like a Playboy centerfold; she’s more likely to hear that she could never be in Vogue.

HELP COMING FOR SEX ADDICTS

With number of addicts on the rise, Sex de-addiction centres need of the hour, say doctors; JJ coming up with one.


Rajaram Singh, a retired bureaucrat from Delhi, spends most of his time watching and reading porn. What started as a hobby soon became a habit. Singh started locking himself in his room, ignoring his wife’s pleas to spend time with the family. Finally, his wife decided to consult a sexologist. The expert realised that Singh was in need of urgent attention.

“He used to watch porn clips on internet all day long, and had become an addict. We counselled him, prescribed medication, and advised his family to try and divert his attention,” says Dr Prakash Kothari, sexologist.


However, experts lament the lack of de-addiction centres in Mumbai, or across the country for people like Singh. And such cases are on the rise. Sexologists in the city say they are seeing a growing number of sex-addicts, and not enough de-addiction centres for them. There are very few doctors and clinics in the country that treat this disease.

“Sex addiction is rampant in our country. We see an increasing number of people from all walks of life. But the condition is largely ignored as most people feel it is not a problem at all,” says Kothari.

The increase in number of cases could be because of the easy access to the internet porn. Dr Mahinder Watsa, sexual medicine consultant, says, “People watching porn instead of having sex with their wives need treatment.”

Adds Dr Yusuf Matcheswala, senior psychiatrist at the Masina Hospital, “If not treated, the addiction can become dangerous, leading to an increase in cases of sexual assault.” He says sex-education is very important to increase awareness about the condition.


Source: Uploaded by user via DNA on Pinterest

The state-run Sir JJ Group of Hospitals in Mumbai is considering introducing a sex de-addiction centre in the city. “We asked the head of the Psychiatry department to work out how we can set up a centre within the premises. Once the report comes in from the department, we will work out what kind of expertise is needed to establish such a centre,” says Dr TP Lahane, dean, JJ Hospital.

Nirmala Samant-Prabhavalkar, of the National Commission for Women, says, “Such a facility is an urgent need in the country. Sex addiction is a social issue. We will talk with Ghulam Nabi Azad, Union health minister, about how can we increase awareness about the issue.”

how diabetic men can improve their sex lives

New study tells how diabetic men can better their sex lives.


A new study has offered hope for Type 2 diabetic men, who are experiencing problems in their sex lives.

In a recent placebo-controlled study, long acting testosterone undecanoate (an ester of testosterone) improved erectile function, intercourse satisfaction, and sexual desire scores in type 2 diabetic men with severe hypogonadism, a condition in which the body doesn't produce enough testosterone.


Only sexual desire improved significantly with testosterone replacement therapy in those with mild hypogonadism. "The study's results also suggest that trials of testosterone therapy should be for a minimum of 6 months and not shorter periods as suggested by some guidelines," said lead author Dr Geoffrey Hackett.

The study appears in the journal BJU International.

Try these 5 essential oils to boost your sex drive

When it comes to sex drive, there's plenty of information available. But there are a number of essential oils that can be used to increase your libido.

A few libido-boosting ingredients such as Celery, ginger (root), cloves, thyme and maca powder -- Peru's natural Viagra -- are all known to stimulate sexual desire. Try adding a drop of ginger essential oil to a yogurt or fruit salad, or to a spoon of honey mixed into a hot drink, before cozying up under the covers.



Get a sniff of rose


The simplest and most effective way to stimulate libido is with a good sniff of Damask rose essential oil, inhaled at the end of the day, straight from the bottle. This should be done for two to three weeks. Damask rose is a strongly scented flower that's now mainly grown in Morocco, Bulgaria and Turkey. It has soothing but also stimulating properties, and is particularly helpful for emotional problems.

Sip a stimulating tea


The ultimate herbal tea for combatting frigidity or impotence should be a blend containing cinnamon and ginger. To each cup, add one teaspoon of acerola (natural vitamin C) and one drop of peppermint essential oil (for men) or one drop of clary sage essential oil (for women). Clary sage should be avoided by anyone suffering from, or with a history of, hormone-related cancers. Peppermint is a pain-relieving plant that can be very useful in cases of mental, physical or sexual fatigue. Clary sage targets menstrual troubles such as period pain, amenorrhea, premenstrual syndrome, menopause, etc.

Go hands-on with aphrodisiac massage oil


Nothing is better than a massage with fragrant essential oils to reconnect with your body and arouse sensual signals. Simply mix 1ml of ylang-ylang essential oil, 0.5ml of cassia essential oil, 1ml of ginger essential oil and 0.5ml of mountain savory essential oil with 30ml of hazelnut oil. Focus on the feet -- the tops and soles -- as well as the whole length of the spine. Cassia is a naturally "yang" oil that stimulates nerve centers and increases body heat. It's an invigorating, aphrodisiac and uplifting essential oil.

Slip into a sensual bath
Make use of your bathtub, if you have one, by adding five drops of ylang-ylang essential oil, five drops of rosemary verbenone essential oil and five drops of vetiver essential oil to the water. The ideal temperature is 37°C and don't stay in for more than 15 minutes unless you want wrinkly skin. With its floral, sensual and exotic aroma, the Asian flower ylang-ylang has powerful antispasmodic and antidepressant properties, and is a sexual and mental stimulant.

Ditch tampons for menstrual cup to boost your sex life

About 1,500 women were asked how their periods had changed since swapping tampons for a cup.


Switching from tampons to a menstrual cup can improve your sex life, according to a recent survey.

Usually made from rubber and shaped like an egg cup or funnel, the cups are inserted into the vagina to collect menstrual fluid and can be used for up to 12 hours before needing to be emptied, the Daily Mail reported.

Costing around 25 pounds and lasting for 10 years, are said to reduce dryness and help the vaginal muscles stay strong.


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To mark Menstrual Hygiene Day, feminine hygiene company Intimina asked 1,500 women how their periods had changed since swapping tampons for a cup.

Of the participants, 26 per cent said their sex life had improved since to using a cup, due to decreased dryness and improved vaginal tone; 46 per cent said their sleep was better; 84 per cent said they felt more confident during their period; and 78 per cent felt more comfortable with their body.

According to Intimina, 66 percent of women reported decrease in vaginal dryness; 34 percent experienced fewer and less severe cramps; and 62 percent reported less odour.

The top five reasons why the women surveyed switched to a cup were: For health benefits, for the longer wear time; to save money, to help protect the environment; and for comfort.

‘Sex after marriage wasn’t what I expected’

Waiting for marriage before having sex wasn’t what I expected

I GREW up in the church. Christian family. Christian school. Christian friends. And the number one rule taught to me about sex was this:
Don’t have sex before marriage!
It was drilled into my head that premarital sex was wrong because it would create soul ties between me and all the people I had sex with. Almost like Voldemort whose soul split into seven pieces which attached themselves to every victim he killed, creating horcruxes.
Being the perfectionist that I was in my teenage years, I latched onto this rule and avoided sex like the plague. I suppressed thoughts about sex and avoided all sexual urges.
I was even interviewed by Girlfriend magazine at the ripe old age of 14 preaching abstinence and warning other teenagers against these soul-tying horcruxes that I thought could destroy our very lives.
Elissa’s slightly embarrassing appearance in Girlfriend magazine.
Elissa’s slightly embarrassing appearance in Girlfriend magazine.Source:Supplied
At church, gossip spread about young people who were secretly having sex, older married couples who had confessed to sex before marriage, and the double-standards applied to elite members of the church whose sexual sins were kept forever on the down-low.
“Sexual immorality” always seemed to be dealt with more harshly than any other moral failing: pastors excommunicated for adultery; pornography burning ceremonies; exorcisms performed on homosexuals; abortions to cover up premarital sex; verbal abuse, gossip and slander about or toward the promiscuous; and a church-wide fear of admitting to any sort of temptation or mistake.
Most of the time we don’t even discuss whether it is right or wrong to buy houses and cars that pollute our environment, destroy the ozone layer, wipe out forests and rape the earth, but we will talk incessantly about how much of a slut little miss so-and-so is, and how LGBTIQ people are really perverted heterosexuals.
But by the time I was in my early twenties I was still single, and there were these urges in my body … to touch myself. I wanted to know what it felt like. So I discovered masturbation.

I felt like I’d committed a felony — worse yet, maybe I’d committed the unforgivable sin! No one had actually told me it was wrong, but I presumed that it was, and the guilt I experienced was horrendous. I bawled my eyes out every time I expressed my sexuality in the privacy of my own room and I begged God to send me a husband as that seemed like the only legitimate solution.
Another six years went by in singleness and sexlessness, and then my mother passed away. Strangely enough, the thing I wanted more than anything in the world right then was sex. I wanted the strength of a man’s body to comfort me in my grief.
I started to challenge the idea that masturbation was a sin and pushed the boundaries of my own rules. I invited men into my life who kissed me and touched me in ways I’d never experienced before. One particular man probably saw me as his greatest challenge. My virginity would be his prize — if he could conquer me. He was an alpha male; strong, and in his own way, very patient. I threw away my boundaries around oral sex but I never orgasmed in his presence or allowed penetration.
At age 30, I finally met a man I was content to settle down with. He too was an intercourse virgin and we mutually decided to wait for sex until we were at least living in the same country — he’s American, I’m Australian.
We pushed all remaining boundaries: sleeping in the same bed when we visited each other internationally; engaged in oral sex, Skype sex and mutual masturbation; saw each other completely naked and even showered together. But we did in fact wait for intercourse until we were legally married in February 2015.
Elissa and her husband both waited for the big day.
Elissa and her husband both waited for the big day.Source:Supplied
At age 32 I finally gave my husband the last piece of my virginity. But intercourse wasn’t what I had expected it to be. There were no fireworks or explosions. It all felt quite natural and not as supernatural or spiritual as I’d been lead to believe it would be.
The flip-side of those negative soul-tying horcruxes was that sex was “supposed” to create a beautiful bond between me and my husband that would unite us together in body and spirit for the rest of our lives.
But it didn’t feel that way for me initially and I was disappointed. I’d waited 32 years of my life without ever having intercourse only to find out that I was still exactly the same person after I’d had sex as I was before I’d had sex.
Sex didn’t change me. It didn’t fix me. It didn’t ruin me. It had been blown completely out of proportion in my mind because of the rule I was taught as a child.
Having been married for a year now, I think there is some legitimacy in what I was taught about soul-ties. I have read up on oxytocin, microchimerism and telegony. And I have found sex to be a bonding experience between myself and my husband. But I have also learned that having a sex-life can be really hard work. I certainly don’t have the stamina or flexibility of someone in their twenties.
So, do I regret the decisions I made? No, actually, I don’t. I have learned so much about myself, about human sexuality and about religion, that I am inclined to be grateful for my own story, exactly as it is. I embrace my journey.
I still hold some resentment toward the rules that I was given. I resent how they controlled me and how little I was able to follow my own heart. I believe that the best way for me to heal from this resentment is to share with others my journey and allow them to make their own decisions about how they will express their sexuality and follow their hearts.
My goal in writing my book Grace for Sexual Shame: The Obsessed was to address the many areas of our sexuality that are often condemned in churches. Areas like masturbation, pornography, premarital sex, lust, abortion, fantasy and gay marriage.
I feel strongly that it is time for the church to start preaching grace above abstinence. When statistics tell us that more than 90 per cent of people, Christian and non-Christian alike, have sex before marriage in Australia, we are kidding ourselves if we think that vamping up the abstinence message is going to stop people from having premarital sex.
We need better sex education about contraception and even about abortion. Also, the church desperately needs to rethink its hate-the-sin-love-the-sinner approach to LGBTIQ people.
The church is not capable of loving sinners if it simultaneously shames, judges, criticises, condemns, avoids and slanders their sin.
My hope is that through honest conversation, we may begin to heal our collective sexuality sooner rather than later.
Elissa Anne is a Christian writer, blogger and author of Grace for Sexual Shame: The Obsessed.

Drone captures couple having sex

THIS footage captures the awkward moment a tourist couple are busted having sex at the top of a monastery tower.
The duo either didn’t notice the drone or didn’t care, and only stopped when another tourist came up the steps.
The duo didn’t notice the circling drone or just didn’t care.
The duo didn’t notice the circling drone or just didn’t care.Source:YouTube
The couple were up the bell tower of the Borisogleb Monastery in Torzhok, a town in northwestern Russia.
In the footage, the drone circles the building but the couple continue to have sex.
The drone completed a full circle but the couple continued to have sex.
The drone completed a full circle but the couple continued to have sex.Source:YouTube
The footage was captured at the Borisogleb Monastery in Torzhok, a town in northwestern Russia.
The footage was captured at the Borisogleb Monastery in Torzhok, a town in northwestern Russia.Source:YouTube
After the other tourist arrives, the man quickly stops and rearranges his shorts.
His partner in crime walks off as if nothing has happened.
After the other tourist arrives, the man panics and the woman pretends nothing has happened.
After the other tourist arrives, the man panics and the woman pretends nothing has happened.Source:YouTube
The video ends with the trio awkwardly standing at the top of the monastery.
The pair have not yet been identified, but reports suggest they could face a fine or even criminal charges for offending the Orthodox Church and its members.

I challenged myself to 40 orgasms in 40 days

What happened when I challenged myself to 40 orgasms in 40 days

THERE’S no subtle way to begin a piece like this except to say — orgasms are where life’s at. However you choose to get there, they feel phenomenal, right?
But if you’re anything like me, as you get older things that go bzzzz in the night get replaced by things that go ‘Muuuum!” in the night.
So last month I decided to park the too tired, too busy excuses and have one orgasm every day for 40 days — straight. Hardly spontaneous, but hopefully erotic and possibly educational.
Having now come out the other side of my enforced daily pleasure, this is what I learnt about love, the libido, women, sexuality and vibrators that look like Prince’s microphone.
FOREPLAY IS AN INSIDE JOB
At the tender age of 45, I discovered I need foreplay — with myself! Yes, I had to recalibrate the expectations I have of my own clitoris.
But then I wondered, what does foreplay with me even look like? Sweet nothings in my own ear? Fantasies? Midway through my “challenge” I learnt that foreplay must be an inside job. It doesn’t live and die on marathon foot rubs by Robert Downey Jnr or picturing scantily clad young bucks with oiled-up abs.
All pretty pictures, absolutely, but I realised the most titillating thing for me is … permission. When I allowed myself to relax and turn off the crap-o-meter, breathing slowed down, thoughts followed suit and then … and only then was Robert Downey Jnr welcome to show up with the foot balm.
Oh yeah RDJ, that’s right.
Oh yeah RDJ, that’s right.Source:istock
THE 21ST CENTURY HAS TAKEN OUR URGES HOSTAGE

Twelve days in and my libido went limp. Seeking out pleasure felt like a chore. All I could think of was … Must I have another orgasm?!
In my pursuit of pleasure I often forgot one thing — to relaaaax. At night, desperate for sleep, thoughts of “gotta” plagued me … I’m tired but, I gotta have my orgasm.
There’s no pussy footing around the fact; the 21st Century has taken our urges hostage and none of us seem to put up much of a fight. We need to create time for intimacy and alter our mindsets so we aren’t so vulnerable to distractions and excuses like “I’ll just watch another hour of reality TV”.
ORGASMS ARE LIKE LENTIL SOUP
I thought other women would rejoice in this challenge and rush home eager to kick off their own journeys. But dare I say, it was different strokes for different folks.
Shock and support jostled for space with awe and a very fat white elephant in the room. After revealing the source of my new “glow” to a bunch of 40-something female colleagues, smiles froze over and quinoa suddenly seemed more interesting than climax.
Nip n’ tuck talk? Fine. But clitorii n’ cocks? P-lease. It’s lunchtime.
On the other hand my GP buddy was evangelical in her support of my daily Vitamin O as she confessed to prescribing orgasms for her patients regularly.
“I tell them it’s like lentil soup because for a lot of women, having an orgasm isn’t attractive when you’re tired or busy. Lentil soup isn’t appetising either. But after that first mouthful you think, yum. Why didn’t I do that sooner?”
It’s not always easy to get there, but it’s worth it when you do.
It’s not always easy to get there, but it’s worth it when you do.Source:istock
As for my girlfriends, they immediately assumed my husband was a “lucky guy” while one friend admitted to “self-service” because her man is too conservative.
“It’s another thing I do for him — I get his dinner, I get my own orgasms.”
ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL
I’ve had a soft spot for vibrators ever since my first lipstick-shaped version. Oh, the memories. And one night as I enjoyed another battery-powered hit, my vibe cut out and I didn’t have a back up … well, only a couple — one was working late and the other was buried under bras in a drawer. I scrambled for the latter.
At 20cm long and with a multi-speed “engine” to rival a Corvette, my plan B was high-octane stuff; its hot fuchsia body could double as a microphone for Prince’s purple squeals.
But I was undeterred. I fired the ol’ girl up and ... Whoa! Baby, you’re much too fast. Two orgasms sped out more from shock than arousal. Nope. Too much hardware for my software. This Kalashnikov of vibes would be repurposed as a body massager. Oh the irony.
(NOT) SACRED WOMEN’S BUSINESS
So what did a daily dose of orgasm ultimately teach me? That my body is a miracle. From giving birth to giving orgasms it is one generous, talented, well-oiled machine — as if I needed further proof, but what a mind-blowing way to confirm the obvious.
Over the past 40 days I’ve become more adept at finding the point in my brain that releases me into an ecstatic, soundless state of unconditional pleasure. Allowing myself to enjoy my body without shame gave me a thrill no orgasm in this life or the next could ever replicate.
Sure, for some, clitoral joy should be hushed — it’s sacred women’s business. We cloak her in mystery and make self-pleasure a luxury. I say, let’s end the shame so many women pin to their sexuality.
Ultimately, 40 days of 40 orgasms was a delicious celebration of female sexuality and the body that can give us phenomenal joy in so many ways — if only we let it.
Phyllis Foundis is a TV host, writer, producer, TEDx talker and intimacy activist. This is an edited extract from her book, The Joy of Sags, available in September 2016. You can follow her on Twitter.

The awkward sex talk teen boys want

WHAT age do you think a boy’s first exposure to porn is? 14? 16? Try, 11.
That’s one tiny year older than my eldest, Dr Who-loving-Lego-mad son. Say it isn’t so. But it is. And the consequences can be addictive, destructive and in many cases brain-altering.
So what can we do to avert our children’s attention from the unreality of porn?
Recently I was invited to speak about intimacy for an audience of 14-year-old boys at a selective high school. The occasion? Their annual Sex and Relationships Day; a revealing and honest event that explores sex beyond biology class.
Speakers included the ex-detective who talked about sexual assault, the GP who mythbusted masturbation, penile size and STDs and the expert on porn addiction who gave an affable talk on the dangers of pixelated pleasure seeking.
I was one of two female guests in the line-up. And although I was asked to deliver a workshop on pleasure from a woman’s perspective, I wondered what new insights could I possibly share with the porn-savvy students. But the teenagers’ innocence coupled with intelligent questions unfettered by shame, detonated my prejudices and possibly even shed new light on my chosen topic; the clitoris.
“Good morning gentlemen.” I began, as my audience fidgeted and played with their hair.
“Over the next few hours, your heads will be filled with talk of penises, vaginas, genital warts, wanking, blow jobs and other Justin Bieber hobbies.”
Sex ed is about so much more than putting condoms on cucumbers (or bananas) these days.
Sex ed is about so much more than putting condoms on cucumbers (or bananas) these days.Source:istock
The mention of JB with reference to BJs broke the ice. Still, a teacher sat nearby, keeping a close watch; a wise move since, within moments, the alpha boys began the chest beating …

“Miss, Miss! Ask Adam to draw you a penis — he does amazing penises.”
Uninvited, an anatomically correct member quickly came to life on A4. It was mildly confronting; maybe it was the smiley face on the head that threw me. But I was glad the penis reared its head. It set the tone for a lively, relaxed and uncensored discussion.
“What makes up a vulva?” I asked.
“Uh, the vagina…”
“There’s a urethra in there…”
“Isn’t Vulva a car brand?”
After agreeing that the components of a vulva could technically transport you but wasn’t strictly transport, I asked the boys to draw a vulva and use dot stickers to indicate where the clitoris, vagina and urethra are.
Alpha Adam grabbed his phone for a quick pic and the teacher pounced.
“No Snapchat!” he warned before he turned to me and said, “I don’t want it going viral.”
Nope. Nobody wants that.
The boys continued to draw and I fired off more questions.
“Look at your vulva. Can you see the ‘bald man in a boat’, or heaven’s doorbell?”
Blank faces, smirks. Even Alpha Adam was speechless. So I continued.
“They’re euphemisms for the clitoris — it’s an incredible part of a woman’s anatomy with 8000 nerve endings compared to the 4000 spread over your penis’ head. The clitoris is extremely sensitive…”
“Is it really so sensitive, Miss?”
“Really. And it’s often, mishandled too. We don’t play it like an air guitar. It’s about gentle touch. Or firm — depending on the woman.”
“…so we shouldn’t smash the clitoris.”
“Definitely not.”
“But Miss, if I’m on a one-night stand, can I ask her how she wants to be touched?”
Did these boys believe that touch is confined by time? Did they think intimacy was the proverbial wham, bam?
Thank you, porn for screwing with reality.
“Yes!” I replied, “You should absolutely ask her how she wants to be touched.”
The boy looked genuinely gobsmacked by my answer.
“But is there a science behind touching the clitoris, Miss?”
“If we shouldn’t play air guitar on it … how should we touch it?”
Desperate to match the boys’ earnest energy, I launched into an impromptu demo with my index finger raised in midair.
They were mesmerised. But I faltered.
“Guys, there really is no right way …” I said, dropping my hand. And 20 wide-eyed teens were crestfallen. But I couldn’t speak for the idiosyncrasies of the world’s entire clitoral population!
Thankfully, the talk quickly veered into length of orgasms followed by a debate initiated by the boys on whether sweet nothings were the same as dirty talk.
And then, “So, Miss, does a woman who is more emotionally connected to a man feel greater pleasure?”
Wow. Unexpected magic; and a question that filled me with hope because, contrary to popular preconception, our young men aren’t looking for the “sex ed” prescribed by porn stars. They seek a level of honesty, realism and heart that’s completely alien to adult films.
As the students filed out of the classroom, high-fiving me, one particularly quiet student held my gaze and whispered, “thanks”. Even Alpha Adam nodded his appreciation as he left. All boys, in fact, a credit to their school.
If I could name and praise this high school for the phenomenal work they’re doing in sex education, I would, in a heartbeat. Flying in the face of what’s “acceptable”, “safe” or classroom-appropriate for so-called impressionable minds, this school is an unapologetic beacon.
As for me, a mother of two boys already asking me questions like, “how long should you have sex” and “what do you feel like afterwards?” – this experience was beyond priceless.
I learnt that our country’s teenage boys will readily reject porn when the facts are freely shared by us, their parents, educators, mentors and friends.
We just need to set aside our prejudices and give these young men the truth they deserve about intimacy even if the blushed cheeks belong to us.

Sex abuse: Warning over treatment of child 'offenders'

Children who commit acts of harmful sexual behaviour should not be treated as "mini sex offenders", a report says.
A parliamentary inquiry, supported by charity Barnardo's, says they should be seen as children "first and foremost".
It also said children who sexually abuse other children have often suffered abuse and trauma themselves.
Barnardo's Javed Khan said treating children as mini sex offenders "prevents them being rehabilitated and living positive lives".
For its report, the inquiry used a description of harmful sexual behaviour as one where children and young people "engage in sexual discussions or activities that are inappropriate for their age or stage of development, often with other individuals who they have power over by virtue of age, emotional maturity, gender, physical strength, or intellect and where the victim in this relationship has suffered a betrayal of trust".
This behaviour could range from using explicit words and phrases to sex with other children or adults.
There is no definitive data on the scale of the issue of harmful sexual behaviour by children.
However, a Freedom of Information request revealed figures that suggested more than 4,200 children and young people were reported as perpetrators of sexual abuse in 2013-14.
'Smartphone age'
The inquiry's report said that in some cases, children "make mistakes as they start to understand their sexuality and experiment with it".
It added: "These children are unlikely to pose further risk to the public, given appropriate support, but unnecessarily criminalising or stigmatising them as a 'sex offender' at such a young age makes it more likely that they will struggle to regain a normal life, and increases their propensity to re-offend."
It also said that while public protection should always remain the "primary driver" when dealing with cases, young offenders should be "treated as children first and offenders second".
Mr Khan, who is Barnardo's chief executive, said: "We must remember that many children who show harmful sexual behaviour have experienced or witnessed physical, emotional or sexual abuse as well as neglect and can be extremely vulnerable.
"In some cases a criminal justice response may be necessary, but we have to find a much better way to stop children abusing themselves and each other."
Conservative MP Nusrat Ghani, who chaired the inquiry, said: "In this smartphone age, parents must also play a vigilant role in protecting their children from harmful sexual behaviour and from harmful sexual images that cause damage they are too young to understand."

Politics Football Sport Celebs TV & Film Weird News TRENDINGANDY MURRAYEURO 2016UFC 200ANDREA LEADSOMDALLAS SHOOTINGCHILCOT REPORT Technology Money Travel Fashion Mums Home Lifestyle Sex & Relationships Sexuality Women share their sexual experiences and discuss female orgasms in attempt to 'start a dialogue'

Women share their sexual experiences and discuss female orgasms in attempt to 'start a dialogue'

The Tumblr page is a collection of 72 essays from women describing sexual encounters that have stood out - for the right or wrong reasons


Young couple playing on bed

Do you feel confident about discussing your sex life with others? Or do you still feel there is a stigma which prevents you opening up?

One group of women have decided that female orgasms - or lack thereof - aren't talked about nearly enough.

In an attempt to stimulate conversation, they have collated 72 essays written by females on the subject and published them to a Tumblr blog inventively entitled 'How to Make Me Come'.

Do you have something to say on this subject? Share your story/tip anonymously using the form below

From a 32-year-old woman who has never experienced an orgasm to another lady who writes out the perfect 'recipe' for achieving one, the responses are varied.

The introduction to the Tumblr page reads: "The female orgasm can sometimes be challenging to achieve and/or talk about, but it goes beyond that.

GettyYoung couple making loveDiscussion around female orgasms is often limited - these women want to change that
"When we talk about female orgasm, something deeper is at play — for one, the societal assessment and conversation of female sexuality; the consequences of which bleed into the areas of our lives far outside the bedroom.

"We wanted to start a dialogue about how women achieve sexual pleasure; something that is often ignored, devalued, or misunderstood."

The blog creator reached out to friends, who in turn reached out to more friends - and so on - until they built a collective of women who had something to say.

Do you have something to say about sex and the female orgasm? We'd love to hear your stories and tips. You can leave them anonymously via the form below.

How losing weight transformed our sex lives

Sex is so much better now we're slim: How losing weight transformed our sex lives

A recent US study revealed that cutting calories brings many benefits, with libidos and relationships also receiving a boost


Here, three women share their weight-loss stories and reveal how shedding the pounds upped the va-va-voom in the bedroom.

I'd binge on chocolate and takeaways
Pip and Jonathan Judge live in Merthyr Tydfil, Mid Glamorgan, with their children, Nial, 17, and Jack, 12. Pip, 38, is currently unemployed and Jonathan, 41, is a hospital administrator.


 Pip Judge lives near Merthyr Tydfil, Mid GlamorganPip Judge as a size 22
For years, all my sexy Ann Summers underwear lay unworn in the bottom of a drawer. I didn’t even want Jonathan to see me in a plain cotton bra and knickers from M&S, let alone black lace.

But now, thanks to hard work in the gym and sensible eating, I have gorgeous new undies because the Ann Summers stuff is too big – and I have a rejuvenated sex life to wear it for!

I met Jonathan back in 1997 and although we fell in love quickly, we didn’t move in together until about 2004 because he was living with and caring for elderly grandparents.

As a result, we had a brilliant sex life for years. At first it was all about stolen moments. Then when we did eventually share the same roof, we were like newlyweds. Sex was on the agenda several nights a week.

Then, in 2009, I gave up smoking and quickly piled on four stone, ballooning to 16st and a size 22 – far too big for my 5ft 4in frame. I wouldn’t eat all day then I’d binge on chocolate, crisps, takeaways and fatty comfort food. I tried radical diets but always ended up falling off the wagon again.

I couldn’t bear to look at myself in the mirror and I’d dive into bed before Jonathan came into the room. When he tried to touch me I’d make an excuse and turn over.

Several times I remember him saying: ‘Why do you always push me away?’ But I had no words. In the end, we were making love less than once a fortnight.

Then at the beginning of 2013, a friend told me she’d lost weight via Slimming World and sent me some recipes. I thought I’d give it a whirl and joined my local gym too. In 10 months, I lost every pound I’d gained and was 12st again.

Pip and Jonathan Judge live near Merthyr Tydfil, Mid GlamorganPip and Jonathan Judge
I actually wanted Jonathan to see me naked so he could see what I was achieving. And as the pounds dropped off my sex drive came back with a vengeance.

I remember we took the kids to Blackpool. We were walking along the front and I felt great in a pretty white sundress. A young chap walked towards us. ‘He was eyeing you up!’ Jonathan said. When I asked why he’d be doing that, he spluttered: ‘Because you’re bloody gorgeous! You always have been but now you’ve got your sexy sparkle back too’.

I could have burst with happiness.

Today my sexual mojo is keener than ever – we fuel one another. We’re always sending naughty texts and it’s just like when we were first together again.”

He turned me down due to my size
Local council worker Sarah Rees, 34, and her husband, Andrew, 33, a building surveyor, live near Swansea.


 Sarah Rees, 35 from near Swansea in WalesSarah Rees as a size 18
I asked Andrew out a couple of times before he eventually agreed. Only later did he admit one of the reasons he said no at first was my size.

That sounds horrid but in truth I was really big. I’ve never been a skinny girl but after I got divorced in 2010, I spent a year living it up – vodka shots on nights out, wine-fuelled holidays with the girls, festivals and meals out. I went from 14st to more than 16st and shot up to a size 18.

I didn’t really consider whether I felt desirable or not. Men were off the menu at that point but then, right at the end of 2011, I met Andrew.

I was excited to sleep with him but scared too. My body was unrecognisable to the one I had the last time I went to bed with someone. And so I covered up in big T-shirts – not exactly sexy but it was the only way I could do it. I didn’t want him to see all my bits jiggling. And I made sure I was first in bed and dimmed the lights. I was embarrassed because of my size.

While our sex life was good and Andrew made me feel special, I didn’t have the energy I once had and I didn’t feel desirable. I wanted to feel like a sexy young woman newly in love but I didn’t. I knew I had to do something about it. The tipping point came in
the summer of 2012 when we went to Andrew’s sister’s wedding.

Sarah and Andrew ReesSarah and Andrew Rees
I looked huge and thought I’d ruined her pictures. More than that, I thought Andrew’s friends and family must be wondering how this tall, good-looking chap could ever fancy this 5ft 10in, 16st 4lb giant.

So that September I joined Weight Watchers and slowly the weight came off. By the time we married in August 2014, I was down to a size 14/16 and by last summer, I was a size 12 and 12st 5lb. It was slow but worth every moment. I feel like a new person.

My size might have put Andrew off initially but he fell in love with me despite being a bigger girl. These days I think he loves my body even more. He’s always said how much he loves my legs but now he comments on every bit of me!

Sex has always been a special part of our relationship but now I have loads more energy and feel so much more confident in bed. I do occasionally put a T-shirt on but when Andrew says ‘take it off, you look great’ I’m much happier to do so. I still struggle a little to believe I’m as slim as I am.

I don’t think I realised just how much my sex drive suffered as a result of being so overweight. One thing’s for sure – I won’t let it suffer again.”

The fatter I felt, the more I ate
Melanie Vaughan, 40, and a stay-at-home mum, is married to Anthony, 41, an engineer. She has four children, Nathan, 21, Joshua, 16, Bradley, 15, and Lily Rose, eight, and lives in Brighton.


Daily MirrorMelanie Vaughan, 40, from BrightonMelanie Vaughan as a size 14
Most women who lose weight talk about the joy of getting skinny jeans back on. I lost just over three stone and got my hubby back!

In February 2008, I gave birth to our daughter, Lily Rose, and unlike my previous pregnancies, the weight I put on just wouldn’t shift. I was a size 14 and although that doesn’t sound big I’d always been a size 10.

I hated how I looked. Anthony told me not to be so hard on myself and that I looked beautiful, but I didn’t believe him.

The worse I felt, the more I ate and the pounds kept piling on. Sex had always been a hugely important part of our five- year relationship, but the heavier I got the more I pushed Anthony away. I didn’t want him to see me naked. I couldn’t believe he could still fancy me.

I even started going out after work, letting him deal with the children, so I didn’t have to be with him. When I did go home I changed into big, baggy clothes. I knew I looked terrible but I didn’t care.

I hoped it would put him off me even more. We’d always been the same height and build but suddenly I felt we looked like Little and Large. Our sex life became non-existent and Anthony started sleeping on the sofa. In 2012 he moved out.

After he left I gained even more weight. Then in December 2014 I won a competition to meet my idol, Gary Barlow. When I saw a picture taken of me with him something inside me snapped. I couldn’t bear to look that big any more.

So, in the New Year, I ditched the booze and the takeaways, gave up cheese – a real weakness of mine – bread, plus sugary foods and drinks, and I replaced them with fruit, vegetables and salad with chicken, salmon or prawns.

Melanie and Anthony Vaughan, from BrightonMelanie and Anthony Vaughan, from Brighton
I walked the dog for miles, dusted off my exercise bike and joined Zumba and Pilates classes. By the end of the year, I was three stone lighter and a size 6/8.

Anthony kept encouraging me and I wanted to spend time with him. When he invited me out for dinner I accepted. ‘You’re you again’, he told me.

And by February this year, Anthony and I were sleeping together again. We’re taking it slowly. He’s not moved back in yet – but I feel like we’re on a second honeymoon
and I love getting dressed up for him, picking out sexy little numbers knowing how much he’ll love them.

What’s more, it’s often me that initiates lovemaking. I feel sexy, desirable and vibrant again. And when he tells me I’m beautiful I believe it.”

Where is the best place to have sex

Where is the best place to have sex? Over half of Brits have admitted to getting frisky in this spot...

The bedroom might seem like the obvious choice but many of us are mixing it up by venturing around the house, according to a survey


GettyYoung couple relaxingBored of the bed? That's not your only option

We talk about 'moving things to the bedroom' - but it seems Brits are getting bored with getting amorous between the sheets.

A recent survey designed to discover what we get up to on our sofas caused a few blushes when 63% of respondents admitted to having SEX on their settees.

Men are more open about their sexual sofa habits, with 71% of male respondents owning up to their alternative living room activities, compared with around half (57%) of women.

The worst culprits are those in the 45-54 age bracket, who were most likely to admit to doing more than a cheeky couch cuddle. Perhaps this is down to 'empty nesters' letting loose once their kids have left.

Are you an empty nester with a great sex life? Or have you been with your partner for a long time and recently found a spark again? We'd love to hear from you.

Contact us using the form at the bottom of the article or email yourmirror@mirror.co.uk.


GettyOlder couple drinking coffee on sofaDoes it get better as you get older?
Before you consider crashing on a friend’s sofa in Southampton, bear in mind that over (77%) of people who live there confessed to having sex on their couch; a higher percentage than anywhere else in the country.

This was closely followed by respondents from Norwich (69%) and residents of Sheffield (68%) who also admitted to getting frisky on the furniture.

Have you ever had sex on a sofa?
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What's more, 48% of men admitted to often sitting naked on their couches, while 80% of women owned up to crying on their sofa. We can't help thinking those two stats might be related.

GettyCouple on sofa toasting with glasses of champagne, smilingWe can see where this is going
According to the survey, aside from crying and having sex, our settees have also seen their fair share of break-ups, with 15% of men and women admitting they either ended their relationships or have been broken up with whilst sitting on their sofas.

Sadly, only 7% of respondents who had been proposed to on the sofa - but maybe that isn't a bad thing.

Tom Obbard, Director at Furniture Choice, said: “The results from the survey confirm that our sofas do actually have a lot of secrets to reveal. It’s interesting to see what us Brits get up to, and certainly might make some people think twice when buying a second hand sofa.”

The results were based on a survey of 1019 respondents.

Watching porn regularly

The research, conducting with more than 1,000 adult viewers, may surprise those who question the morality of pornographic films

GettyA porn user who watching explicit footage regularly Porn users who watch explicit footage regularly are more religious, says the study

Watching porn regularly could make you become more religious, a study claims.

Adults males and females who view 'blue' movies more regularly than once a week are more likely to be more interested in God than those who do so only occasionally.

They also pray more and have fewer religious doubts.

Although there is no exact reason cited, researchers believe that it may be linked with feelings of guilt.

More than 1,300 adults were tracked for six years about their porn use and faith by researchers at Oklahoma University, US using the Portraits of American Life Study (Pals).

Read more: Awkward moment students watch PORN together for the first time

Findings showed 39% of adults in the US had viewed some form of pornographic media in the previous year, with men using three times as much as women.

"Recent research suggests that more frequent porn consumption, especially for religious persons , is associated with guilt and embarrassment, potentially diminishing one's interest in religious or spiritual activities while also potentially creating feelings of scrupulosity that may draw individuals away from religious community," the study said.

GettyPrayerThe report's authors believe that increased guilt may be the reason for religion coming from higher porn use
Team leader Samuel Perry said: “Findings suggest that viewing pornography may lead to declines in some dimensions of religiosity but at more extreme levels may actually stimulate, or at least be conducive to, greater religiosity along other dimensions.”

The study, in the Journal of Sex Research , added: "Findings suggest that viewing pornography may lead to declines in some dimensions of religiosity but at more extreme levels may actually stimulate, or at least be conducive to, greater religiosity along other dimensions."

Perry added that people who viewed porn two to three times a month were the least interested in religion, but "at higher frequencies of porn viewing however, the trend in religious salience later on appears to increase slightly".

How can I improve my sex life

The average Brit now has sex four times a month, compared with seven in 2008. And a third go a month without any bedroom action at all. Here's how to put that sizzle back




Glossy mags and TV soaps may give the impression the nation is constantly at it, but according to the British Sex Survey 2014, we’re getting jiggy  significantly less than six years ago.

“A drop in sex drive isn’t always a problem,” says social psychologist Dr Petra Boynton, drpetra.co.uk. “Sex drive naturally fluctuates and if you’re happy having sex occasionally – or even not at all – that’s fine. But it can be a problem for couples when there are mismatched expectations.”

Want to lift your libido? Then follow our guide...

Just think of the health benefits sex provides
If you’ve gone off sex , it’s worth ­rekindling an interest if only for the health benefits. “Orgasm stimulates production of the body’s natural killer cells, which fight infection, boost immunity and even offer some ­protection against cancer,” says ­psychotherapist Marisa Peer, author of You Can Be Younger.

“You also release oxytocin, dubbed the love hormone, which boosts mood, ­alleviates stress and reinforces the bond between you and your partner.”

Chill out
High levels of the stress hormone cortisol can lower sex drive, says the Society for Endocrinology. Set aside five minutes a day for relaxation. Try the Mental Health Foundation’s free podcasts at mentalhealth.org.uk.

Ditch the cigs
Smoking damages arteries, affecting circulation. It affects a man’s ability to get and maintain an erection and impedes men’s and women’s ability to orgasm, says Dr Michael Roizen, author of The Real Age Makeover. To quit, visit nhs.uk/smokefree.

Get fitter
“Studies have shown women who exercise frequently experience an increase in speed of arousal and ­intensity of orgasms,” says Relate ­counsellor and psychosexual therapist Denise Knowles.

Aim for at least five half-hour sessions a week of moderate exercise like brisk walking or three 25-minute sessions of vigorous aerobic exercise.

Sort your sleep out
Men who had less than five hours of sleep a night for a week had reduced levels of testosterone, the libido hormone, a study in Chicago found. Not enough zzzzs also makes men and women grumpy – not an aphrodisiac!

Keep a diary
“Record everything for a week – how much sleep you got, whether you exercised, what you ate, if you were stressed and how you and your partner got on. Then you can see what may be getting in the way,” says Dr Boynton.

Get talking
If you’re rushed off your feet all day and flop in front of the TV every night, you may feel emotionally distanced from your partner, leading to a drop off in sex. “Think what would make your relationship more enjoyable, regardless of sex, then share that with your partner,” says Dr Boynton.

Love your body
Women who see themselves as ­unattractive are more likely to report a drop in sexual desire with age, according to a study from Penn State University, US, on women aged from 35 to 55. So Dr Boynton says: “Concentrate on what you like about your body and remember that you’re almost certainly your own worst critic.”

Consider a quickie
Too busy? According to Marisa Peer, satisfying sex need only take 10 minutes. “Get out of your routine, try a different time of day, a different room, watch a sexy film or try role play,” she suggests. And don’t wait till you’re in the mood. “If you’re not interested to begin with, once you get started, the chances are you soon will be.”

Tone up down there
A third of new mums and half of ­menopausal women have a weakened pelvic floor – the muscles that support the uterus, bladder and bowel. Besides leading to accidental urine leakage, it also reduces sexual sensation.

“Strengthening the pelvic floor improves blood flow, improving the intensity and frequency of orgasm,” says Barry Fowler, manufacturer of the Pelvic Toner, the only device for stress incontinence available on the NHS, £29.99 plus postage. Visit iwabo.co.uk or call 0117 974 3534.

Resolve niggles
Unresolved resentment can lead to sex problems, says Denise Knowles. “I often see couples where one partner doesn’t realise they’re withholding sex because they feel resentful about something – perhaps doing more than their share of the housework. Talking is key to addressing these issues.” Counselling service Relate offers a free online live chat, visit relate.org.uk .

Check your meds
Certain medications, including some antidepressants and contraceptive pills, can affect libido. If you think this affects you, talk to your GP, who may be able to prescribe an alternative.

Have an MOT
If you’ve tried all these with no result, see your GP to rule out conditions that could affect your sex drive.

“Diabetes, high blood pressure and heart disease all affect the circulatory system and can make erections more difficult in men and orgasm more difficult in women,” says Denise Knowles. “Underactive thyroid, ­menopause, stress and depression can all lower libido,” she adds.

I want sex ALL the time since I hit 50 - now my toyboy lover wants to marry me

Woman in BedIn my late 40s, I felt more like sex than I ever did in my younger years and those feelings have just intensified

Dear Coleen
I’ve been separated from my husband for the past 12 years. However, in my late 40s, I felt more like sex than I ever did in my younger years and now I’ve hit 50, those feelings have just intensified.

I have a lover who is half my age and wants to marry me, but I just can’t decide what to do, not least because all of my closest friends don’t agree with this relationship and say I should be with someone my own age.

The thing is, older men just don’t seem to come along.

Please help as I really don’t know what to do!

Coleen says
And your problem is? Firstly, ignore your mates – they’re probably just jealous you’ve snared a younger guy.

I’ve read several articles lately about women getting into their late 40s and suddenly finding they have a dramatic surge in their sex drive – it’s almost as if your ovaries are saying, “It’s the last chance saloon” before the menopause hits and your body starts to go through changes.

Look, if you are happy the way you are, then carry on. You don’t say if you’re actually divorced, so if that’s the case, I’d finalise that.

However, you don’t have to rush into marrying your younger boyfriend – why do you feel the need to do that?

You can still have great fun together without getting married. I think you should enjoy your freedom and this new lease of life you’re experiencing.

I love my girlfriend but I fantasise about sex with men

Colleeen Sexuality ProblemDeep down I know I have this really strong attraction to men

Dear Coleen
I have a girlfriend and love her very much – in fact, I think she’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met.

However, I have always been turned on by gay sex and I masturbate over men.

Sometimes I feel I want to be with a guy, but then if I start thinking about an actual relationship with another man, I find it a real turn-off.

But deep down I know I have this really strong attraction to them.

What should I do?

Coleen says
You sound confused. You might be bisexual or it could be a fantasy that won’t actually translate into real life. But, because you haven’t explored these feelings, you don’t know.

It sounds as if you’re worried about losing your girlfriend but, as much as you love her, I don’t think these urges are going to magically disappear. Sexuality isn’t something you grow out of or can ignore. I don’t think you should be in a relationship while you feel so confused.

I think you need some time on your own to experiment, otherwise you might go through life wondering, never being able to commit to any relationship.

If you do decide you’re bisexual, then all you need is to be is honest from the start when you get together with someone – whether it’s male or female.

Politics Football Sport Celebs TV & Film Weird News TRENDINGANDY MURRAYEURO 2016UFC 200ANDREA LEADSOMDALLAS SHOOTINGCHILCOT REPORT Technology Money Travel Fashion Mums Home Lifestyle Sex & Relationships Sexual health Men and women reveal their most common fears about sex - and they're not that different

Dear Coleen: I've asked husband if I can sleep with other menWhat's running through her head? The lid has been lifted

As the old saying goes, 'men are from Mars, women are from Venus' - but we might not be as different as we like to think.

A survey has revealed the top 10 most common fears men and women have about sex and has highlighted surprising similarities.

Whether it's a one night stand or the first time sleeping with a new partner, sex can be a truly nerve-racking experience for both

What if they're not enjoying it? Or the sight of your cellulite repulses them? Not to mention concerns about STIs and unintended pregnancy.

But what are men and women thinking, exactly? A new survey by Superdrug's Online Doctor has lifted the lid.

Men's top 10 fears about sex
GettyCouple sharing intimate moment"What if she thinks I'm inexperienced?"
1. Your partner has an STI

2. Your partner won't have an orgasm or be satisfied

3. The condom will break/sex will result in unintended pregnancy

4. You'll ejaculate prematurely

5. Your partner will find your naked body unattractive

6. You won't be able to perform

7. You are bad at sex

8. Your penis is too small

9. Your partner will think you are inexperienced

10. It will be awkward after sex

Women's top 10 fears about sex
She's not alone in having these concerns
1. Your partner won't want to wear a condom

2. Your partner has an STI

3. The condom will break/sex will result in unintended pregnancy

4. Your partner will find your naked body unattractive

5. Your partner will not take "no" for an answer

6. Your partner will want to do something

7. An embarrassing bodily function will occur during sex

8. Your partner won't have an orgasm or be satisfied

9. You won't have an orgasm or be satisfied

10. You are bad at sex

DU Counselling 2016

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Widow asks doctors for dead hubby's sperm to have baby

New Delhi: AIIMS received an unusual request recently from the widow of a young man who had died suddenly while being brought to the hospital. She wanted doctors to retrieve his sperm so that she could have a baby.
The couple had been married just a few years and did not have a child. "The parents of the man were also willing and supported her request," said a doctor.
The request had to be rejected as there are no clear guidelines on postmortem sperm retrieval (PMSR) in the country.
Citing the case in an article published in the latest issue of the Journal of Human Reproductive Sciences, AIIMS doctors have sought clarity on PMSR to avoid such a predicament in the future.
"Time has come to have guidelines about the procedures to collect sperm posthumously, to preserve them and to effectively use them with maximum benefits to the individual as well as society," the doctors argue.
According to Dr Sudhir Gupta, head of AIIMS's forensic sciences department, sperm can survive inside the testicular cavity for almost a day after death. "Retrieval is a simple process. It can be done within five minutes by dissecting the testis and extracting the sperm. But there are ethical and legal issues involved," he said.

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The guidelines for assisted reproductive tech nology (ART) clinics in India allow insemination of a woman with a dead husband's semen. However, the sperm must be collected while the husband is alive and in sound mind.
Israel allows removal of sperm from a dead man's body at the request of his wife and allows transfer of the sperm to the wife within a year of the husband's death, even in the absence of his consent. If the wife dies, the sperm cannot be used.
Top Comment

At least the sperms should have been collected while there was still time.. Rules and other decisions take time.. Sperms wil not live for ever in dead body
Anon Anon
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In a 2006 article in the Indian Journal of Medical Ethics, leading forensic experts Rajesh V Bardale and P G Dixit had predicted a possible rise in demand for PRSM.They, however, argued that any decision on this would have to be thought out in detail since the situation in India was more complex than in developed countries.
"It might be a difficult time for a widow to make a rational decision. Pressure from the family may compli cate the situation. The problem is compounded by the time limitation for collecting the sperm, which might require a quick decision," they pointed out.
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Senior Bajaj Auto exec, wife die in e-way crash; kids injured

PUNE: Amrut Kumar Rath, a top-level manager working with two-wheeler major Bajaj Auto, and his wife were killed while their two children suffered serious injuries after their car hit the median of the Pune-Mumbai expressway at Malavli, around 60km from Pune, on Sunday afternoon. The family was returning to Pune from Mumbai when the accident happened.

The Highway Safety Patrol (HSP), Pune, and Lonavla police rushed the family to Lokmanya Hospital in Nigdi, where Rath (47) and his wife Padmaja (45) breathed their last under medical attention at 1PM. Their daughter Adisha (18) and son Alman (10) have been admitted to the intensive care unit (ICU) of the hospital.

Police inspector Shankar Awatade of the Nigdi police station told TOI that Rath was the president (human resources) at Bajaj Auto Limited. The family resides at Wakad. Both Adisha and Alman are studying in the city. Awatade said the family had gone to Mumbai in their BMW car early in the morning to drop off Rath's sister. They were returning to Pune when Rath apparently lost control over the vehicle.

Top Comment

We Indians are new to highway driving. At such high speeds, a slight distraction is enough( be it partial sleep or turning to discuss something or other vehicles fault) to make it hit the median or c... Read More

Subramanian xxxxxx

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The police said that while it had rained heavily in the area in the morning, there was only a slight drizzle at the time of the accident.

Late in the evening, the Nigdi police sent the bodies for a post-mortem to Yashwantrao Chavan Memorial Hospital. Doctors at Lokmanya Hospital said Adisha and Alman sustained joint dislocation and fractures in the accident. "Adisha suffered a hip dislocation and pelvic injuries. The hip dislocation has been immediately taken care of. Though she is still in the ICU, her condition is stable. Alman has sustained abdominal trauma and has fractured his right femur (thigh) bone. His condition is critical but stable. Both children were conscious-oriented at the time of admission," the doctors said.

Portugal win Euro 2016 thanks to Eder's extra-time goal

PARIS: Substitute Eder's thunderous finish deep into extra time secured Portugal's first European Championship title after they overcame the early loss of Cristiano Ronaldo to snatch a 1-0 smash-and-grab victory over hosts France on Sunday.
As it happened: Portugal vs France
Eder picked the perfect moment to score his first competitive goal for his country, marauding forward before letting fly with a bullet shot from 25 metres in the 109th minute.
In Pics: Portugal stun France
It was a cruel blow for France, who had dominated the match from and squandered a number of chances, in front of their devastated home support, who arrived at the Stade de France hoping to celebrate a third European crown.

The trophy was lifted by Ronaldo, who broke down in tears at the final whistle but whose game had come to a frustrating end after 24 minutes when he was carried crying from the pitch on a stretcher with a knee injury.
So much of the build-up had focused on Ronaldo and his hopes of crowning a glittering career with the only achievement missing from his CV, a piece of international silverware.
The script had been written for him to produce a performance to match his status as one of the game's truly great talents, but he had to settle for a back-stage role after Dimitri Payet's challenge left him in a heap on the floor.
Prior to his departure, it had been a fast-paced start with France's Moussa Sissoko a bullish presence in midfield, frequently charging through tackles and bursting into the box.
His 34th-minute shot was well-parried by Patricio, but by that point the match had settled into a pattern of France probing and pushing but struggling to break down their more defensively-minded opponents.
Without Ronaldo, Portugal seemed in no hurry to rush the ball forward, happy to see the game descend into a cagey, tactical battle.
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They had a scare, however, in the 67th minute when Kingsley Coman's cross found Antoine Griezmann unmarked six metres from goal, only for the tournament's top scorer to head a golden opportunity over.
Minutes later, Olivier Giroud, fed by sprightly substitute Coman, forced a diving save from Patricio, who then parried away a pile-driver from Sissoko as France turned the screw.
Top Comment

Congrats Portugal! Our PM will personally visit your country soon to congratulate you.
tejonline
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France's best chance of the night arrived in stoppage time when substitute Andre-Pierre Gignac turned his marker inside out before scuffing a shot past the keeper and against the post, with the ball bouncing across the face of goal and then out of harm's way.
While Portugal continued to sit back in extra time, they had the better chances with Eder's header parried by Hugo Lloris and Raphael Guerreiro striking the crossbar with a free kick before Eder's moment of magic.

India pushes talks with Russia for 5th-generation fighters and ‘Super Sukhois’

NEW DELHI: India is finally taking forward the negotiations with Russia on stalled mega projects to jointly develop a futuristic fifth-generation fighter aircraft (FGFA) as well as upgrade its existing Sukhoi- 30MKI  jets into 'Super Sukhois' with advanced avionics and weapons.
Though India and France are now close to inking the estimated 7.8 billion euro deal for 36 Rafale jets, the defence ministry acknowledges that just 36 fighters will not be enough to stem the country's haemorrhaging air combat power.
The IAF is down to just 33 fighter squadrons — including 11 obsolete MiG-21 and MiG-27 squadrons slated for retirement — when at least 42 are required to keep the "collusive China-Pakistan threat" at bay.
The "multi-pronged strategy"to progressively crank up airpower ranges from inducting the indigenous Tejas light combat aircraft to exploring a second line of fighter production in the country, with the American F/A-18 and F-16 as well as Swedish Gripen-E already in contention for this proposed 'Make in India' project.
Apart from these 4th-generation fighters, the defence ministry is now finally working towards inking the final R&D design contract with Russia this year for the Indian "perspective multi-role fighter", a variant of the Russian single-seat FGFA called Sukhoi T-50 or PAK-FA.
"Apart from resolving technical and cost issues, Russia has also agreed to allow IAF test pilots to fly its prototypes now," said a source. The final R&D contract for the FGFA was on hold till now despite the two countries having first inked an inter-governmental agreement in 2007 and then following it up with a $295 million preliminary design contract in 2010, as was earlier reported by TOI.
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Under the main design contract to be executed in over six years now, India and Russia will chip in around $4 billion each for prototype development, testing and infrastructure build-up. The overall cost for producing 127 of these single-seat fighters — which will combine stealth, super-cruise and multisensor integration — in India will be about $25 billion.
Amid all this, the Indian defence establishment is also trying to ensure "maximum operationally availability" of the existing fighters at any given time. Defence minister Manohar Parrikar, for instance, says serviceability of Sukhois has jumped to 60% now from an alarming 46% earlier.
Top Comment

We have a pro India and functional government now. India''s defence requirements are finally getting the priority they merit. Congress had other ''priorities''.
Jagdish Madan
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"The aim is to achieve 75% serviceability. This has been done with an active tripartite dialogue among Russia, Hindustan Aeronautics (HAL) and IAF to ensure better availability of spares and maintenance for the Sukhois," a source said.
This, in turn, has led to renewal of the plan to upgrade the jets into 'Super Sukhois', with advanced AESA (active electronically scanned array) radars and long-range stand-off missiles. "The technical requirements should be finalised this year, with the contract being inked next year," said the source.
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